Thoughts

“Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right.” -Ezra T Benson

 

Haven’t posted in a long time. Really resonating with this thought right now. Pride is something I struggle with, and something hard to combat, being the root of all sins. 

Advertisements

Ramblings

For my Theology class, we have to reflect on a given passage once a week for afew weeks. This passage is 145. These are my ramblings on these verses. 🙂

The Lord upholds all who are falling
    and raises up all who are bowed down.
15 The eyes of all look to you,
    and you give them their food in due season.
16 You open your hand;
    you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
17 The Lord is righteous in all his ways
    and kind in all his works.
18 The Lord is near to all who call on him,
    to all who call on him in truth.

I am really digging verses 14-17 this week. God’s attributes of provisions and grace are so evident as the Psalmist notes how He provides for us infinitely and without fail. His faithfulness and righteousness are communicable attributes of Him. While we can be faithful and righteous in the small things, these are the core pillars and strengths of who He is. This is exceedingly overwhelming to me. He is the One who literally spoke existence, science, light, and life into three dimensions from nothing. He is eternal, while I am finite.

I am taken aback by the gracious power my God has. By the immensity and overwhelming fact of His glorious, majestic grace. “You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing. The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works.” Not only does this Being of Holiness recognize I have desires, but they are desires He put in me that He yearns to use to make me more like Him. Every desire, every trial is no surprise to God. He has knowledge that the sparrow falls to the ground, and He has knowledge that I have suffered, that I love, that I experience the same emotions I do.

His righteousness is beautiful, because He is not some cosmic deity who deigns to watch us lowly humans from afar. He is humble, full of grace and condemned Himself to gird up in human flesh mucking through sin, sickness, and ramifications of the Fall. His knowledge of the human desire to be close to our Maker is so prevalent He damned Himself that we could be atoned so that we can eternally dwell with Him.

What Did the Fox Say?!

I know this is already viral, but I had to share it. This made my super ugly laugh come out. I literally almost died. Wait until they start floating. SO MUCH GOOD.

Seeds

“An idea. Resilient, highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it’s almost impossible to iradicate.” -Inception

Ideas are incredible, because once they are planted, they only grow. They evolve, mature, change, but they are always there. We can never truly purge ourselves of an idea. We can stop giving it the nourishment for it to flourish, but the roots remain.

I am taking Abnormal Psychology this semester, and we are currently learning about the pioneers of psychopathology, and psychotherapy. It sounds a lot scarier than it actually is. 😉

One chart about Eugenics and Mental Disorders shocked me, and legitimately scared me. It reads as follows:

– 1896: Conneticut became the first state in the UNites States to prohibit persons with mental disorders from marrying.

1896-1933: Every state in the United States passed a law prohibiting marriage by persons with mental disorders.

1907: Indiana became the first state to pass a bill calling for people with mental disorders, as well as criminals and other “defectives”, to undergo sterilization.

1927: The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that eugenic sterilization was constitutional.

1907-1945: Around 45,000 Americans were sterilized under eugenic sterilization laes; 21,000 of them were patients in state mental hospitals.

1929-1932: Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, and Iceland passed Eugenic sterilization laws.

1933:Germany passed a eugenic sterilization law, under which 375,000 people were sterilized by 1940.

1940: Nazi German began to use “proper gases” to kill people with mental disorders; 70,000 or more people were killed in less than two years.

Okay. So, what started as a idea (I’m assuming) to protect certain citizens by not allowing them to marry spread like wildfire.

I am not saying the lawmakers in Conneticut in 1896 expected Hitler to eradicate thousands of mentally handicap people within a span of 50 years, but I want to point out the evolution of the idea.

I think ideas are wonderful, and they are part of what makes us distinctly human. We adapt, we evolve, we think and develop ideas.

However, I think even with ideas designed to help, we have to be so extremely careful.

I am learning this with ideas I have established over time. I see myself becoming judgemental about certain stereotypes I have observed, and I have to keep my ideas and thoughts in check.

The beauty of ideas is that they can change. I see this particularly with Christ’s influence. He removes ideas from our lives, and gives us His ideas. It then becomes our duty to surpress us, and magnify Him.

When God Winks at You

A few months back, I saw a bok about Life’s Coincidences, entitled “When God Winks at You.” Granted, I did not read the book, and am not endorsing it, but I am jacking the title. 

That’s just how I do. 😉 

Last year, I applied to Biola’s (the school of my dream) nursing program (the profession of my dreams). However, I was not accepted on a technicality. Since then, I have struggled with self-doubt, insecurity, and questioning if I am supposed to be a nurse. 

I truly believe I am called to be a nurse, and granted I am re-applying to Biola’s program, because I love the integration of patient care & the gospel. I love our nursing program,  and I know somehow, some way God is in this situation; I just wish I knew all the details now. Because I’m a control freak. 🙂 But really… 

C’est la vie. 

I have this thing with sunflowers. I love them. I would worship them if I was a pagan. F’realz. But a close second is a dragonfly. I don’t know why I love these things so much, but they make me inexpilcably happy. 🙂

I was walking on campus running errands while Summer was still in session, and praying about why I didn’t understand. I didn’t, and I fully don’t understand why I didn’t get into a program that I worked my tail off to get into this year. To be alongside with my friends. To pursue what I am called to do. 

I have never seen a dragonfly on campus, until this day about a month and a half ago. As I was praying and pouring my heart out before God, at least 20 dragonflies began dancing and flying around me in the lawn I was crossing. I felt a sudden wave of peace, as God whispered to my heart that He is in control, that Iam at Biola for a reason, and that He knows what He is doing. 

I pray I get into the nursing program at this amazing university this year. I am trying to cast all my anxiety and fear upon God, and do my absolute best, and trust Him with the rest. 

Within that special moment, I knew God had winked at me. 🙂 

Jesus Saves

 

Jesus Saves sign from BIOLA’s original campus in L.A. So grateful to be a part of this University’s legacy.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trusting in the Lord is one of the hardest things to do. 

Like Ever. 

I believe I will never master it. I believe I will never fully be able to rely on the Lord while I am alive. It will get easier for me, but I believe post-fall humans cannot trust in Him naturally. 

My prayer is that my trust in the Lord will become like a muscle. The more I use it, the easier it will be to accomplish. That it will still be sore at times, but that it would ultimately grow stronger.